i still cant seem to let go,

even though how much people

said that he was a jerk or an idiot,

it made my heart fall apart,

my soul left my body or something.

till now i teared because of this matter..

i want to just ignore everything that comes to me..

people started to tell me..

that he still has feeling towards me,

but then why the break up?

why did u want to hurt me so badly?

you were the one who told me that im fragile..

you said that you would always be there to catch me

you said your affection towards me doesnt need to be forced,

because when we're far apart you would still love me..

you also said:"your panda misses you." to me..

when i started saying things that hurt both ways,

and you were outstation,

you still called to say your sorry..

but what now?

your hurting the one that you care so much about?

oh so all of these were all some drama to make me like you?

well guess what, you made it come true,

tah tah

stay tuned

Today's post is all on my Best Friend,

ERIKA (:

I dont know what to blog about but,

here goes nothing :P

Me sudah mature-kan? haha.
i used to despise wearing dresses cause
i'll look too girly, but look at me now,
a grown up GIRL :) *claps hands*
I've been getting advice from lots of guys
and my pals about all these relationship matters lately.
Special thanks to those who cared:

-Erika, thanks for standing up for me my sayang :)
-Chriztay, aww i love you too laopo, thanks for being there for me.
-Briana, TWIN! yeah, screw them guys :P
-Nicholas, haha talking partner surely made my day :) thanks.
-Hau Run, SIS! thanks for calling me 2 days straight :)
-Chen, thanks man! :)
-Jia Pei, i'll think more of you when u call me kay? haha, but thanks. :)
-Alex, thanks for helping me figure out this mess. :)
-Yi Jia, saya sudah ok, thanks :)
-Felicia, hey Twin, im okay, thanks. :)
-Ryan, Dont worry bout me, there are plenty more out there ryte? :P

to those i forgot to list down, Im sorry but Thank You :)

going out with the girls this coming Thursday and sleepover at Jerica's house
on Friday :D
Hectic week :P but i LOVE it!
cause i have been stuck at home BORED and ROTTING with
my handphone and messages :O
I found out a fact about me,
i love talking to people that i see a lot of me in them :)
example: Erika, Felicia,Chriztay,Nicholas :D
Nic is like one of the first guys i see a lot of me in :O
so cute <3
wahh wahh, i didnt say im in love, dont get the wrong idea.
He's my awesome talking partner.
im in a state where my status is single so,
i'll totally go look for some guys im interested in *winks*
hahah i know Fifi and Yi Qing or even maybe Cydney
will wanna join in for a MAN HUNT (my Chriz wifeee named it).
I'll stop my crappyness right here.

ENJOY!

tah tah
stay tuned

trying to smile :)

i don't want to talk about those stuff

that makes me frustrated,

so i'll crap about my day at One Academy! :)

so, its like this.

we were all at school crapping bout Naruto and

the Christmas party.

my gayness bro was called by the teacher incharge so

we went up to the roundtable side.

we didnt know we were suppose to bring pencils

or anything so we rushed to 7-11 to get some.

haha i bought some Mamee snack to chow down

in the bus.

Marilyn and Briana already took off in a public bus,

but not intentionly,we saw them arrive the same

time as us :)

One Academy is so AWESOME!

me and my wifeee we saw COLLEGE BOYS!

i only saw 2 hot ones :P

but they are so MATURE and so HOT!

i love the space given in there too.

the stairs, the walls everywhere had creativity

in them.

i was amazed and felt my talent was nothing in there man.

we drew our shirts all in our own talent, skills.

they picked out 5 nicest Shirts.

UHH..they actually said the people who won

are wearing red shirts and i was wearing white

with my wifeee.

then the lady was like AHH wrong people,

then pointed at me and my wifeee (Chriztay).

they were like cheering and applauses.

i was so paiseh man..

cause i thought mine was a lil weird.

they wanted us to show them our shirts!

i was like ERR...

when me and wifeee went out to the centre

everyone was like WOAHH~

im like paiseh paiseh.

went back to school and got some drinks with

my gayness bro and his wifeee :)

drank peach tea~

theirs tasted weird but mine was yum yum. :P

chat chat chat.

plan plan plan.

finally got our plans to watch 2012 and a sleepover

at Jerica's house for barbecue :)

im her co-assistant to help arrange stuff for barbecue

since i stay really close to her house :O

oh and special thanks to my buddies from KDU :)

you guys reallytook up time to help me and his relationship.

im not sure whats going to happen but i'll try my best.

suddenly had a lot of flashbacks that consists of

our good good times :)

i was so touched and so regretful,

how could i say those stuff to him...

i regret saying those stuff that could have hurt him..

possiblities of me and him are so little now.

i think he's not serious about this anymore :(

he's changing his mind..

i hope time will heal..

i want us to be like those times..

tah tah

stay tuned

okay all these are all the truths.

we arent working out.

we arent trying to work out.

we are losing faith in each other.

we aren't maintaining this relationship.

i still really really love you, but you love her.

i can't hold it in no more,

yes i'm hurt and i can't stand you ignoring me.

it's okay, as long as you once loved me, i am grateful..

i am who i am,

not a child nor a kid.

love to do what i can,

like pulling or holding your hand.

i dont want to feel alone,

i dont want to be alone.

i am a big girl,

so i dont cry no i dont.

i will wait for you until

you feel alright.

baby just dont let me go,

even if you do,

i wont go.

i love you,

always.